Missed opportunity
Scene: In bed last night, lights out.

Me [poking the knee I bashed against the end of the bed earlier when I was getting undressed]: Ewwww, feel this!

C: Um, no thanks? Generally "ewwww, feel this" isn't a great way to entice someone to touch something, you know.

Me: Oh. [pause] Oooooooooo, feel this!

C: Not a chance.